生命的尽头（1）

有那么一个精神病人，整天什么也不干，就穿一身黑雨衣举着一把花雨伞蹲在院子里潮湿黑暗的角落，就那么蹲着，一天一天的不动。

There was a mentally ill patient who did nothing all day long, just squatted in a damp, dark corner of the yard wearing a black raincoat and holding a flower umbrella, just squatting there, day by day, without moving.

架走他他也不挣扎，不过一旦有机会还穿着那身行头打着花雨伞原位蹲回去，那是相当的执着。

If someone tried to move him, he wouldn’t struggle. However, once he had the chance, wearing that outfit and holding the flower umbrella, he would squat back in his original spot, displaying an extraordinary persistence.

很多精神病医师和专家都来看过，折腾几天连句回答都没有。于是大家都放弃了，说那个精神病人没救了。

Many psychiatrists and experts came to see him, but after a few days, even a word of response was absent. So everyone gave up, saying that the patient was beyond help.

有天一个心理学专家去了，他不问什么，只是穿的和病人一样，也打了一把花雨伞跟他蹲在一起，每天都是。

One day, a psychology expert visited. He didn’t ask anything but dressed like the patient and took a flower umbrella to squat beside him, every day without fail.

就这样过了一个礼拜，终于有一天，那个病人主动开口了，他悄悄地往心理专家那里凑了凑，低声问：你也是蘑菇？

This went on for a week, and finally one day, the patient proactively spoke up. He quietly leaned over to the psychological expert and whispered, "Are you a mushroom too?"

这是我很早以前听过的一个笑话。好笑吗？

This is a joke I heard long ago. Is it funny?

我已经不觉得好笑了。

I no longer find it amusing.

类似的事情我也做过，当然，我不是什么心理专家，也没把握能治好那个患者，但是我需要她的认同才能了解她的视角、她的世界观。

I have done something similar. Of course, I am not a psychological expert, and I cannot claim to help that patient, but I need her acknowledgment to understand her perspective and worldview.

她曾经是个很好的教师，后来突然就变了。

She used to be a great teacher, but then something suddenly changed.

每天除了吃饭睡觉上厕所就是蹲在石头或者花草前仔细研究，有时候甚至趴在那里低声地嘀咕，对着当时她面对的任何东西，也许是石头，也许是棵树，也许什么都没有。

Every day, aside from eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom, she squatted in front of stones or flowers and studied them meticulously. Sometimes she would even lie there, whispering quietly to whatever she was facing, maybe a stone, maybe a tree, or maybe nothing at all.

但是她如此执着，好几年没跟任何人说过一句话，就自己认真做那些事儿，老公孩子都急疯了她也无视。

Yet she was so dedicated, having not spoken a word to anyone for years, diligently engaged in those activities, ignoring her frantic husband and children.

在多次企图交谈失败后，她的身边多了一个人跟她做着同样的事情，那是我。

After multiple failed attempts to engage her in conversation, there was one more person doing the same thing as her, and that was me.

与她不同的是：我是装的，手里攥着录音笔随时准备打开。

Unlike her, I was pretending, holding a voice recorder ready to turn on at any time.

那十几天很难熬，没事我就跑去假装研究那些花花草草、石头树木。如果一直这样下去，我猜我也快入院了。

Those ten-plus days were tough; when nothing was happening, I would go and pretend to study those flowers, plants, stones, and trees. If this continued, I guessed I would soon end up in the hospital myself.

半个月之后，她注意到了我，而且是刚刚发现似的惊奇。

After half a month, she noticed me, as if she had just discovered something astonishing.

她：你在干吗？

She asked, "What are you doing?"

我假装也刚发现她：啊？为什么告诉你？你又在干吗？

I pretended I had just noticed her as well: "Huh? What do you mean? What are you doing?"

她没想到我会反问，愣了一下：你到底在干吗？

She didn’t expect me to respond with a question and was momentarily taken aback: "What exactly are you doing?"

我：我不告诉你。说完我继续假装兴致盎然地看着眼前那根蔫了的草。

I replied, "I won’t tell you." After that, I went back to pretending to be very interested in the wilted grass in front of me.

她往我跟前凑了凑，也看那根草。

She leaned a bit closer to me and also looked at the grass.

我装作很神秘地用手捂上不让看。

I pretended to be very mysterious, covering it with my hand to keep her from seeing.

她抬头看着我：这个我看过了，没什么大不了的，那边好多呢。

She looked up at me: "I’ve seen this before; it’s nothing big. There are many over there."

我：你没看明白，这个不一样。

I replied, "You didn’t understand. This one is different."

她充满好奇地问我：怎么不一样？

With curiosity, she asked, "How is it different?"

我：我不告诉你！

I replied, "I won’t tell you!"

她：你要是告诉我怎么不一样了，我就告诉你我知道的。

She said, "If you tell me how it’s different, I’ll tell you what I know."

我假装天真地看着她，那会儿我觉得自己的表情跟个白痴没区别。

I looked at her with a pretend naive expression, feeling that my facial expression resembled that of a fool.

我：真的？不过你知道的应该没我的好。

I said, "Really? But what you know probably isn’t as good as mine."

她脸上的表情像是看着小孩似的忍着笑：你不会吃亏的，我知道的可是大秘密，绝对比你的好！怎么样？

Her expression was like that of someone looking at a child, suppressing a laugh: "You won’t lose out; what I know is a big secret, definitely better than yours! So, how about it?"

我知道她已经坚定下来了，她对我说话的态度明显是哄着我，我需要的就是她产生优越感。

I knew she had made up her mind. The way she spoke to me was clearly coaxing, and what I needed was for her to feel a sense of superiority.

我：说话算数？

I asked, "Is it a promise?"

她：算数，你先说吧。

She said, "A promise, you go first."

我松开捂着的手：你看，草尖这里吊着个虫子，所以这根草有点儿蔫了，其实是虫子吃的。

I released the hand that had been covering: "You see, there’s a bug hanging from the tip of the grass here, so this grass is a bit wilted. Actually, it’s because the bug is eating it."

她不以为然地看着我：这有什么啊，你知道的这个不算什么。

She looked at me disapprovingly: "What’s so special about that? What you know doesn’t count for much."

我不服气地反问：那你知道的也没什么了不起的！

I countered defiantly: "Then what you know isn’t anything impressive either!"

她笑了下：我知道的可是了不起的事儿，还没人发现呢！

She smiled briefly: "What I know is quite remarkable, and no one has discovered it yet!"

我假装不感兴趣低下头继续看那根蔫了的草，以及那个不存在的虫子。

I pretended to be uninterested, looking down at the wilted grass and the nonexistent bug.

她炫耀地说：你那个太低级了，不算高级生命。

With a boastful tone, she said: "What you have is too basic; it doesn’t qualify as advanced life."

我：什么是高级生命？

I asked, "What is advanced life?"

她神秘地笑了下：听听我这个吧，你会吓着的！

She smiled mysteriously: "Listen to this; you might be shocked!"

我将信将疑地看着她。

I looked at her with a hint of doubt.

她拉着我坐在原地：你知道咱们是人吧？

She pulled me to sit down: "You know we are human, right?"

我：……

I replied: "…"

她：我开始觉得没什么，后来我发现，人不够高级。你也知道好多科学家都在找跟地球相似的星球吧？为了什么？为了找跟人类相似的生物。

She continued: "At first, I thought it didn’t matter, but later I realized humans aren’t advanced enough. You also know a lot of scientists are looking for planets similar to Earth, right? For what? To find life forms similar to humans."

我：这我早知道了！

I replied, "I knew that long ago!"

她笑了：你先别着急，听我说。我开始不明白，为什么要找跟人类相似的生物呢？也许那个星球上的生物都是机器人，也许他们都是在硅元素基础上建立的生命……你知道人是什么元素基础上建立的生命吗？

She laughed: "Don’t rush; let me finish. I began to wonder why they needed to find life forms similar to humans. Perhaps life on that planet consists of robots, or maybe they are life forms based on silicon… Do you know what element humans are based on?"

我：碳元素呗，这谁都知道！

I answered, "Carbon, everyone knows that!"

她：哎？你知道的还挺多……我开始就想，那些科学家太笨了，非得跟地球上生物类似才能算是生物啊？太傻了。

She said, "Wow? You know quite a lot… I first thought scientists were foolish, thinking biological life must be similar to Earth life to count. So silly.

不过，后来我想明白了，科学家们不笨。如果那个星球上的外星人跟人类不一样，外星人不呼吸氧气，不吃碳水化合物，它们吸入硫酸，吃塑料就能生活，那我们就很难跟他们沟通了。

But then I figured it out; the scientists aren’t foolish. If aliens on that planet are different from humans, like if they don’t breathe oxygen, they don’t eat carbohydrates, but can live by inhaling sulfuric acid or eating plastic, then it would be very hard for us to communicate with them.

所以，科学家不笨，他们先找到跟地球类似的环境，大家都吸氧气，都喝水吃大白菜，这样才有共同点，生命基本形态相同，才有沟通的可能，对吧？

Thus, scientists aren’t foolish; they first look for environments similar to Earth where everyone breathes oxygen, drinks water, and eats cabbage. That way, there’s a common ground, the basic forms of life are similar, and communication becomes possible, right?